why is it so hard? why is the road so rough n tough?? i’m so tired…feel like leaving everything n just be there…where i dont have to face things that i am facing now…are You there? can You feel it? why is it so difficult, so painful, so hurtful all the time.. :’(
the narrow path…not an easy path…do You understand?
its so hot in the afternoon n i couldnt really sit well or do anything…arghh…back in ipoh for a few days and its so boring today la…i’ve even finish checking my emails n clearing up work…wish there’s more..haha
its been 2 months plus since i was home…guess another month my mum will disown me d…hehe..not to mention not getting any ang-pows during CNY..hahaha…
Caught grandpa in this cute pic…he’s enjoying his dragon fruit, @ tronoh, my childhood kampung..
suddenly thought of grandma…i miss her…they say grandpa always smile n laugh when he sees me…is it because i look like grandma? hehe…or maybe he likes seeing leng luis…i think he just like laughing at my silly look…:) since young when i started to understand and think properly, he’s already stroked..i was a bit afraid of grandpa last time…cos he always speak very loud when he’s unhappy…since i left home to KL 5 yrs ago (wow..its been 5 yrs..) i suddenly find myself missing the two old folks more n more..n now that grandma’s gone, i think…grandpa..like me too..miss her a lot…
many times, its often when we lost someone/something, that we find ourselves loving it so dear to our heart..at times, also, we have to learn to let go of things…even if its difficult…there’s a saying "if you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you, it is yours. If it does not, it was never meant to be…" right decisions can sometimes be very painful…No discipline seems pleasant at a time, but painful, however it produces a harvest of righteousness..
i recalled some past experience…and am glad that i walked thru it…thinking of a fren..n hope she’ll get over it soon too…
Someone shared about drifting away today…
you dont have to decide to drift away…drifting away from someone, something..does not require skills…without a determination to decide - Yes i will not drift away, you eventually will…no matter who or what is it…
it’s tough…to want to stay on the path…
somehow…i realized that…as this is tough, its also tough to decide, that i want to totally drift apart from something, or someone, some habit, or even some activities that i like…as much as i want to determine to stay on the way, i also want to be determine to drift apart from habits, emotions and things that will destruct me…This, i will say, requires even more determination & self control…not easy…yet…not impossible…
hmmm…interesting piece of thinking for the nite…i feel…so tired…wish…its all a dream…
